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Unfortunately the problem you describe, in one form or another, is very common. Human nature leads people to do what they percieve to be in their best interest.Most people realize, to some degree or another, that it is in their best interest to nurture meaningful relationships and to treat others with appropriate levels of respect and concern.The sister left it all to me with an understanding that I would try to help mother -- just mother.After 2 years of being mother's caregiver I understand.I love and respect her very much, but I am ashamed to say, I don't like my mother.Does anyone else have this problem and if so, how do you deal with it?
There was never a normal, loving relationship -- and I am 52.I have two other siblings who basically don't call her very often and since I am the oldest, I get the brunt of her calls. Three years ago, for almost 12 months my beloved younger sister was my mother's caregiver.I have tried to do nothing but please this woman all my life and the more you give, the more she wants. I am no longer going to feel guilty if I don't answer the phone when she calls-I need to take care of myself! Two years ago today my sister looked at her future of being stuck with mother and decided to end her own life.My step-dad passed away last summer, after he and my mother were married for 36 years.Throughout their marriage, my mom controlled virtually every aspect of his life, including what he could say, what he should eat, what he should wear, who he could be friends with -- the list goes on and on.